Don’t think about it

“You don’t need to think of him anymore, he’s gone.”

“You’re better off without him.  It was such a toxic relationship. You don’t have to worry about him. You deserve happiness.”

“I don’t know how you managed - he was always so cruel. I wish I’d been there for you.”

“Put it behind you. Start afresh. I know this guy, he’s lovely. Do you want to meet him?”

“You’ll feel better soon. You will forget him and move on with your future.”

Everybody tries to say the right thing. They offer patches for your broken bits but they don’t understand that there is nothing left of you to collect up and move forward with. 

A friend suggested that I’m grieving for myself, yet I’m not dead. Suggested that I should be content to wake up in the morning and have survived the night.  People have lived through worse.

I know this is true for many others but I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I question the purpose of my existence and everyone suggests I’m suicidal but really I feel I’ve lived long enough. I have lost my verve.

“You just need to find your spark.  Your hope. Look at what you still have.”

Mmmmm….